My father always used to say, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” I used to think that was a pretty good policy. For the majority of my adult life, I tried my best to do it.

I hid my thoughts when I was angry because I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

I hid my thoughts when I was sad because I didn’t want to train on anyone’s parade.

I hid my thoughts when I confused or down because I didn’t want to bring anyone down.

I even tried not saying anything–for a period of some months, I took a silence vow. Boy, did *that* not work!

Eventually, I realized that, no matter how hard I tried, no matter how nice I tried to be, no matter how nice I tried to make what I was saying, there was always someone who thought what I said wasn’t nice, or that I wasn’t nice.

All that happened for all my nice-guy efforts was that I felt more and more isolated, unliked, unloved, unaccepted, unacceptable and unrespected.

I *really* didn’t like it that anyone would think I wasn’t nice. I felt useless, unworthy, and abandoned.

I couldn’t figure out why I was still alive–”what’s the use?” was one of my internal litanies–imagine a mid-to-high volume, high-pitched wail inside your head.

Finally, I had to ask myself why I was trying to be so nice, what was it I *really* wanted. Did I want to be nice to get approval, acceptance, heard, loved–what?

It came down to simply wanting to connect. I wanted to feel a sense of community, and to feel accepted, loved, liked–and even respected. Like I belonged.

But how to go from where I was to feeling good escaped me. I didn’t know how. My self-esteem and self-confidence were at a pretty consistent low tide for too many years.

Then I found EFT, and the help of people like Dr. Joe Rubino, who specializes in self-esteem. (Find out about Joe’s books and programs to help you raise your self-esteem HERE and here: CPRSuccess.com/esteembonuses.)

Within 6 weeks of finding EFT, tapping every day, I resolved the suicidal thoughts that had plagued me for 35 years. I awoke one morning to an empty, happy head–and it took me almost an hour to see that the “weird feeling” I had was what I had been looking for all along–I was happy! It had been so long since I had truly felt happy before that I didn’t even recognize it!!

How many people are there who are miserable, unhappy people, doing their best in life, trying to be nice, trying to be good and do good? Who are suffering inside so much that they work way longer hours than they really need to or are good for them, suck down pills or beer or alcohol or candy to try to relieve how they feel, or beat on their wives or kids or dogs….? And I’m willing to bet you know someone like that.

What can you do about them? Probably nothing, because they get insulted if you try to help them–I sure did! I didn’t need anyone to tell me I was messed up–I already knew it! But I was so proud and so fragile and so sensitive that I couldn’t take “kind” suggestions.

How many times did my friends try to tell me I was messed up? And how many friends did I cut out of my life because I felt like they saw me as less-than?
All you can do is change to be the best you you can be, and walk the example. It wasn’t until I saw someone change right in front of my eyes that I was able to make any changes.

One of my creative writing students didn’t come to class for a few weeks. She was one of those unhappy people who, if you even glanced at her, would start to cry. Her hair was always dirty and mussed up, and her clothes and shoes looked like she had just splashed through a huge mud puddle.

One day she showed up, and here was this amazing, shiny-eyed, well-dressed, happy woman! I asked her, “what did you DO?”

She gave me a website for EFT, and off I went into tapping-land, to emerge 6 weeks after that happy, for the first time in 35 years. (EFTBooks.com)
Consistently, reliably happy. Yes, I have down times, but haven’t been caught by the downward spiral but a few times since then, and never, ever as deeply as before.

Why is self-esteem so important? Why do we not function at all without it?

Think about it: if you feel like no one will like you, that if you express yourself you will get punished, hurt or laughed at, if you think simply being you is not good enough, that no matter what you do it’s not enough or not good enough, or any of the other myths we tell ourselves, how on earth can you even begin to breathe clearly, much less relax and live from your heart and soul on out? You can’t. It’s that simple.

If that’s how you are living, please, please, please, start using EFT. You were put here to shine. You were put here to express the gory of life from your unique perspective–no one else on the entire planet is like you! If you go and die on us before you discover how to shine–what a waste!

We ALL miss out! We have to put up with your bitching, moaning, raving, ranting, whining, sniveling and complaining (oh, was I good at all that!), and *you* suffer and stay stuck in survival mode.

That isn’t why you’re here, so get off it and start tapping!

I want you to go right now to: PEACE and get the freebie ebook there that will help you do a little bit every day, so you can get yourself the peace and happiness you deserve. Imagine being able to enjoy your life–what thought! And to shine–who’d have thought it?!?

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© Angela Treat Lyon 2008 • Feel free to use this article as long as you use it in its entirety, no changes, including this section with my © and contact information. Lyon at IDareYouRADIO.com. Thanks!

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